


As it Is

by zabjade



Series: Far to Go [15]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 22:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16273238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zabjade/pseuds/zabjade
Summary: Riley heads back to Sunnydale, ready to save the day and woo the fair maiden. Things don’t go quite how he planned. Takes place in the Far to Go universe.





	As it Is

Riley stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, fighting off the feeling of impending doom. He’d gotten so used to being the golden boy, he’d forgotten that the rules still applied to him. Assault a student while a TA at the local college? Walsh had smoothed things over. Actively pursue another student while being responsible for grading her papers? Walsh had taken care of that, too. Now, though, there was no Walsh to keep him from having to face consequences, and he’d married a subordinate.

He wasn’t _the_ golden boy anymore, but he’d had just enough connections to avoid dishonorable discharge or demotion for either of them. But Sam, his wife of one month now, would be transferred out of his unit within six months, and there was no chance of promotion for either of them. Unless, of course, he could pull off a miracle.

 _Or a deal with the devil,_ he thought, turning onto his side to gaze at the woman sleeping beside him. Sam would never go for the sort of underhanded idea he’d been considering, but she didn’t really have to know everything to play her part. He’d been planning to do this a few months down the line to give himself more time, but according to some of his sources in Sunnydale, now would be good for it. Buffy was apparently desperate enough that she’d started working at Doublemeat Palace. If he and Sam went there for their delayed honeymoon, he could recruit her.

That part, Sam could know about. Not so much the rest of it. He’d gotten a lead on a guy with a nevmora demon for sale, which were harmless mimics that looked a lot like the much more dangerous suvolte demons. If he could recruit a powerful demon fighter while also taking care of a “suvolte” before it could wipe out most of California, his superiors would likely overlook the whole fraternization issue. Sam could stay in his unit, and they’d both be up for promotion. Maybe even medals.

He let the plan percolate in his mind for a few moments, then smiled. What would be the cover story for the so-called suvolte being in Sunnydale? An international arms dealer of sorts. One that just happened to be a certain bleach blond menace.

Riley curled up around Sam, the worry and vague sense of doom he’d been feeling lately lifting away as he drifted off to sleep. It was all going to work out perfectly.

 

**...**

 

“What do you _mean_ she doesn’t work here anymore?” Riley demanded, staring daggers at the pimply-faced teenage girl standing behind the counter at Doublemeat Palace.

“She, like, quit? You know? Yesterday was her last day.”

She’d quit? Why had Buffy quit? If she needed the extra income badly enough – probably to pay for diapers and formula for that vampire baby (and good on Joyce for apparently not spending money on it) – why would she have just _quit_? According to his intel, Spike was at the house fairly often, and by now, he should have been paid quite a lot to house the nevmora eggs in his crypt. Maybe he’d actually decided to give the money to Buffy to help with the hellspawn?

Riley took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Okay, so she wouldn’t be as desperate as he’d been hoping, but this wasn’t a complete setback. He could work with this. He’d go to her house, and then the operation would proceed as planned from there. His big speech about needing her for a special mission should still work. Maybe she didn’t work a demeaning, minimum wage job anymore, but she was still stuck taking care of an infant and doing the thankless job of being the slayer. Wave action and adventure where she’d be valued in front of her face, and she’d jump at it, especially if it came with enough money to hire a live-in nanny.

“So, like, are you going to order?” the girl at the register asked.

He blinked at her and shook his head as he stepped aside to let the next person in line put in their order. Time to visit 1630 Revello Drive. He shuddered slightly as he remembered the last time he’d been there. Well, the last time he’d voluntarily been there, anyway. The time Willow had kidnapped him and messed with his mind didn’t count.

But that last willing time…. Buffy pinning him down and making it clear that their relationship was over. That was an added bonus to this whole thing. He’d make her pay for that. He’d remind her of what she’d thrown away, then bring in Sam so she knew she’d never get their relationship back.

 

**...**

 

Things were not going according to plan. Not even Riley’s modified plan. Buffy hadn’t been home, just Joyce, obviously being a doting and protective grandmother to the baby she’d been taking care of. Nothing was making any kind of sense. He’d thought that Buffy’s mother was withholding funds, forcing her to work at the Doublemeat, but that didn’t fit what he’d seen at her house.

Riley growled in frustration as he paced through the cemetery Spike’s crypt was in, waiting impatiently for his informant. Inside information would have been better than the network of demon spies he’d gotten a hold of through his contacts with the local suck house, but that wasn’t happening. He’d thought Xander might talk to him, but apparently he was still upset about witnessing the plastic stake incident. The younger man had called him a sick bastard before hanging up on him.

 _Doesn’t matter,_ he told himself. He’d work with what he had. And what he had was the demon walking towards him right now. He looked like a pale, greasy teenager with purple hair. Closer inspection would show that he had yellow eyes with a double set of lids, and Riley knew from seeing other demons of the type that he had a scaly tail hidden down one leg of his baggy pants.

“What the hell is going on, Frelick?” Riley demanded. “Where is Buffy?”

The demon licked his lips, slightly bulging eyes glancing around wildly. “Keep it down, buddy. The slayer is around. Not far. She’s with Spike in the crypt. Saw ‘em go there tonight.”

Riley swore softly. He’d known they were having secret trysts and had always planned to interrupt one with his accusations, but that was supposed to be after he’d introduced Sam. Buffy was supposed to be feeling jealous and like she’d missed out on something great before he brought things crashing down around her.

“You got the eggs unloaded, right?”

Buffy hadn’t seen the adult nevmora, but all of the eggs hatching should still be a shock. She’d believe him when he told her they were dangerous monsters meant as living weapons of mass destruction. And she’d believe that Spike was brokering their sale, since he had them in his crypt.

“Yeah. Yeah, man.” Frelick’s eyes darted back and forth again, and he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. “Those eggs, they’re being taken care of, don’t you worry none.”

Well, that was one thing that was going right, at least. He dug out the rest of the money he’d promised Frelick, then headed towards Spike’s crypt. He kicked the door in, ready to make his accusations, only to find the place deserted. No Buffy. No Spike. No demon eggs. What the hell? He walked farther in, his frustration growing with every step.

It was like the entire mission was cursed. No, like all of Sunnydale was cursed. Nothing had seemed to go right for him from the moment he’d come to this godforsaken town as part of the Initiative. Except that wasn’t exactly true. It had been Buffy. Getting involved with Buffy had been when things had started going wrong. She’d made him weak. She’d emasculated him and…. Was that a trap door?

He carefully and quietly opened it up, listening for a moment to the voice that rose up. “Ve haf vays of makink you talk, Villiam.”

Was that… Buffy? It was a little hard to tell through the horrible accent, but he was pretty damn sure it was her. What the hell was going on here? It didn’t matter. He wasn’t delaying this anymore. The eggs had to be down there, and it was more than past time to get things over with.

“Okay, Doctor, I’m here for the eggs,” he said as he dropped down into the lower chamber. He’d planned to say more, but ended up just staring blankly at the sight that greeted him.

He was in what looked like a nice, cozy bedroom, complete with a large bed, which Spike was currently chained to. A very naked Spike. _He looks kind of pudgy,_ Riley thought vaguely. He hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time staring at Spike’s body or anything, but he remembered the vampire being pretty ripped. Now there was a definite softness around his middle.

Riley’s gaze automatically traveled lower, to where Buffy’s hand was extended. Her finger was still pressed against the nozzle of a can of whipped cream, the white fluff covering the other man’s penis. Her other hand held a maraschino cherry over his mouth, and the way she was dressed…. Only a white lab coat and a pair of welder’s goggles. Her hair was up in pigtails, adding to the surreal nature of what he was seeing.

“What the hell, Riley? What are you doing here?” she demanded. “And have you ever heard of knocking?”

“I…” He shook his head and tried to pull his thoughts together. He felt sick, seeing them together in this way. How could she be into something this… this insane? “I’m here to put a stop to the Doctor there,” he inclined his head towards the chained-up Spike, “before he can sell some dangerous demon eggs.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, mate,” Spike said with a raised brow, “but Time Lords aren’t real. And even if they were, like as not they wouldn’t actually be English.”

Time lords? What was he even…? Riley forced his confusion away. “Shut up, Spike. I’m here to destroy the eggs and put a stop to your plan.”

“What eggs?” Buffy asked, frowning slightly. “The only eggs were the ones I fed Spike earlier, and I’m pretty sure chickens aren’t dangerous or evil or anything. Probably.” She glanced at Spike. “Do you know anything about weird eggs?”

Instead of answering right away, he lifted his head as much as the collar around his neck would allow and snagged the cherry out of her hand with his tongue, tucking it against the inside of his cheek. “Old poker buddy of mine, demon by the name of Frelick, he wanted to pay me to babysit some nevmora eggs. Harmless buggers, but wasn’t in the mood to watch someone else’s kids, especially when we’ve finally got a night to ourselves, yeah?”

A strange feeling of numbness settled over Riley, then. It was all over. Everything had gone wrong. Sam would be transferred, and both of their careers would be permanently stalled. And he didn’t even have the satisfaction of revenge for Buffy kicking him to the curb for a vampire. He turned and fumbled for the ladder, climbing up and away from the bizarre situation he’d blundered into.

And just as he got to the top, he heard Buffy say, “Okay, that was weird.”

 

**...**

 

“Okay, that was weird,” Buffy said as Riley climbed back up to the top floor of the crypt.

They really should invest in a lock for the door. Yeah, not having the lock made it easier for people to get to them if they were needed on their nights off, but that’s what the cell phones were for. Whatever, they’d get that figured out later. Right now, she had something way more important to deal with than an ex being much of the uber-weird. She had a naughty prisoner to interrogate.

She focused her attention back on Spike just in time to see him stick his tongue out, a knotted cherry stem balanced on the tip. _Guh._ Her brain sort of fizzled a bit, going to her happy place as she remembered things that nimble tongue had done to her. Then she flicked the stem away before capturing his mouth in a heated kiss, Riley and his bizarre visit completely forgotten.


End file.
